The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.
I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.
She said, "Hi handsome.. My name is Rose. I'm 87 yrs. old. Can I give you a hug?"
I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.
"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.
She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids..."
"No seriously," I asked.. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.
"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.
We became instant friends. Every day for the next 3 months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.
Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.
At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her 3 x 5 cards on the floor.
Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."
As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.
There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!
There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.
If you are 19 yrs. old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn 20 yrs. old. If I am 87 yrs. old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn 88.
Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.
The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did
not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."
She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose."
She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.
At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.
One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.
When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it!
These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.
REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give. ~ unknown
11.01.2010
6.14.2010
Cats!
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will pee on your computer.
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow.
As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. One cat just leads to another.
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
People who hate cats will come back as mice in their "next life".
There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.
Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit.
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow.
As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. One cat just leads to another.
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
People who hate cats will come back as mice in their "next life".
There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.
Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit.
11.04.2009
10.15.2009
Very, very difficult questions
(See answers at end)
1. You are participating in a race. You overtake the person in second place. What position are you in?
2. If you overtake the last person in the same race, then you are in what position?
3. Very tricky math (this must be done in your head, do not use pencil or paper or calculator)
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
4. Mary's father has five daughter's: #1 Nana, #2 Nene, #3 Nini, #4 Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
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Answers:
1. If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
2. If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again! Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?
3. Did you get 5000? The correct answer is 4100. Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!
4. Nunu? No, of course not. Her name is Mary.
1. You are participating in a race. You overtake the person in second place. What position are you in?
2. If you overtake the last person in the same race, then you are in what position?
3. Very tricky math (this must be done in your head, do not use pencil or paper or calculator)
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
4. Mary's father has five daughter's: #1 Nana, #2 Nene, #3 Nini, #4 Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
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Answers:
1. If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
2. If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again! Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?
3. Did you get 5000? The correct answer is 4100. Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!
4. Nunu? No, of course not. Her name is Mary.
Funny, Silly, Stupid? You decide...
Idiot Sighting #5
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know--I already got that side."
Slogans
In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
Most useless inventions
1. Solar Powered Flash Light
2. A black highlighter pen
3. Glow in the dark sunglasses
4. Inflatable anchor
5. Battery powered battery charger
6. Hand powered chainsaw
7. Inflatable dartboard
8. A pedal powered wheelchair
9. Braille driver's manual
10. Double sided playing cards
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know--I already got that side."
Slogans
In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
Most useless inventions
1. Solar Powered Flash Light
2. A black highlighter pen
3. Glow in the dark sunglasses
4. Inflatable anchor
5. Battery powered battery charger
6. Hand powered chainsaw
7. Inflatable dartboard
8. A pedal powered wheelchair
9. Braille driver's manual
10. Double sided playing cards
Math Trick: Phone Number
Originally found on getamused.com
Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will stump you. Personally I would like to know who came up with this and why that person is not running the country.
1. Grab a calculator. (you won't be able to do this one in your head)
2. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area code)
3. Multiply by 80
4. Add 1
5. Multiply by 250
6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number
7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again
8. Subtract 250
9. Divide number by 2
Do you recognize the answer??
10.01.2009
You May be Addicted to the Internet if...
~You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
~You wake up at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
~You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape 4.0 or higher."
~You put down your internet address when filling out your driver's license application.
~You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
~You laugh at people with 14.4K-baud modems.
~You start using smileys in your snail mail.
~The last girl you picked up was a JPEG.
~You have engaged to someone you've never actually met except through e-mail.
~You introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife" or husband as "myman@tv.hubby" and refer to your children as "client applications".
~You name your children Mosaic, Java and Eudora.
~You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap ... and your child in the overhead compartment.
~Only communication in your household is through email.
~You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.
~All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: cable modem...DSL...T1...T3...wireless.
~And even your night dreams are in HTML.
~You think Webster's Dictionary is a directory of Web sites.
~You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
~Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.
~You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
~All of your friends have an @ in their names.
~You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa but haven't spoken to your next-door neighbor yet this year.
~You refer to your age as 3.x.
~You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.
~You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
~You really did ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
~There is an I.V. stand next to your mini tower.
~Choice between paying AOL bill and paying for kids education is easy -- if a little painful for your kids.
~AT&T names you Customer of the Month for the third consecutive time.
~Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
~You have to install a second phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.
~You hide the bill from the spouse because you may have to sell the family car to pay it.
~Your wife drapes a wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
~Batteries in the TV remote now last for months.
~You hire a housekeeper for your home page.
~New mail alarm on your palmtop annoys other churchgoers.
~Your mouse-clicking forearm rivals Popeye's.
~Your household pets mimic the soundblaster card for attention.
~You unsuccessfully try to download a pizza from www.dominos.com.
~You try to order a movie from Blockbuster video by downloading it at 44,000 BPS.
~You get hundreds of comments posted for you at EBay.com.
~You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
~You can't call your mother ... she doesn't have a modem.
~You tell the taxi driver you live at http://1100.sunset.ave/mansion/brick.html
~You're upset because an obituary fails to mention the deceased's new email address.
~You try to pay the babysitter via electronic transfer or PayPal.
~You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
~When your car is crashing through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the Back button.
~Your desk collapses under the weight of your computer peripherals.
~You want to meet someone new and your first impulse is to turn on your computer.
~You double click your TV remote
~You forget that you don't have to use your keyboard when using your telephone.
~You try to enter your password on the microwave.
~You have more than 5 email addresses.
~You set up a webpage for each of your kids.
~Your dog has its own home page too.
~You use more than 20 passwords.
~Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
~If you can write a list like this.
~If you immediately think of ten people to whom you want to send this list.
~You come back and check this list every half-hour.
~You wake up at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
~You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape 4.0 or higher."
~You put down your internet address when filling out your driver's license application.
~You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
~You laugh at people with 14.4K-baud modems.
~You start using smileys in your snail mail.
~The last girl you picked up was a JPEG.
~You have engaged to someone you've never actually met except through e-mail.
~You introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife" or husband as "myman@tv.hubby" and refer to your children as "client applications".
~You name your children Mosaic, Java and Eudora.
~You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap ... and your child in the overhead compartment.
~Only communication in your household is through email.
~You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.
~All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: cable modem...DSL...T1...T3...wireless.
~And even your night dreams are in HTML.
~You think Webster's Dictionary is a directory of Web sites.
~You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
~Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.
~You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
~All of your friends have an @ in their names.
~You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa but haven't spoken to your next-door neighbor yet this year.
~You refer to your age as 3.x.
~You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.
~You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
~You really did ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
~There is an I.V. stand next to your mini tower.
~Choice between paying AOL bill and paying for kids education is easy -- if a little painful for your kids.
~AT&T names you Customer of the Month for the third consecutive time.
~Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
~You have to install a second phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.
~You hide the bill from the spouse because you may have to sell the family car to pay it.
~Your wife drapes a wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
~Batteries in the TV remote now last for months.
~You hire a housekeeper for your home page.
~New mail alarm on your palmtop annoys other churchgoers.
~Your mouse-clicking forearm rivals Popeye's.
~Your household pets mimic the soundblaster card for attention.
~You unsuccessfully try to download a pizza from www.dominos.com.
~You try to order a movie from Blockbuster video by downloading it at 44,000 BPS.
~You get hundreds of comments posted for you at EBay.com.
~You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
~You can't call your mother ... she doesn't have a modem.
~You tell the taxi driver you live at http://1100.sunset.ave/mansion/brick.html
~You're upset because an obituary fails to mention the deceased's new email address.
~You try to pay the babysitter via electronic transfer or PayPal.
~You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
~When your car is crashing through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the Back button.
~Your desk collapses under the weight of your computer peripherals.
~You want to meet someone new and your first impulse is to turn on your computer.
~You double click your TV remote
~You forget that you don't have to use your keyboard when using your telephone.
~You try to enter your password on the microwave.
~You have more than 5 email addresses.
~You set up a webpage for each of your kids.
~Your dog has its own home page too.
~You use more than 20 passwords.
~Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
~If you can write a list like this.
~If you immediately think of ten people to whom you want to send this list.
~You come back and check this list every half-hour.
Humor: Toys and Belief
Atheism There is no toy maker.
Polytheism
There are many toy makers.
Evolutionism
The toys made themselves.
Capitalism
He who dies with the most toys, wins.
Communism
Everyone gets the same number of toys, and whoever is caught selling his toys will go straight to hell.
Buddhism
He who dies with no toys, wins.
Confucianism
Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
Branch Davidians
He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
Hinduism
He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
Jehovah's Witnesses
He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
Mormonism
Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
Muslim
He who plays only with solider toys, wins.
Judaism
He who plays without following the rules, loses.
Anglican
They were our toys first.
Greek Orthodox
No, they were OURS first.
Seventh-day Adventist
He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
Baptist
Once played, always played.
Catholicism
He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
Pentecostalism
He whose toys can talk, wins.
Polytheism
There are many toy makers.
Evolutionism
The toys made themselves.
Capitalism
He who dies with the most toys, wins.
Communism
Everyone gets the same number of toys, and whoever is caught selling his toys will go straight to hell.
Buddhism
He who dies with no toys, wins.
Confucianism
Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
Branch Davidians
He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
Hinduism
He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
Jehovah's Witnesses
He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
Mormonism
Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
Muslim
He who plays only with solider toys, wins.
Judaism
He who plays without following the rules, loses.
Anglican
They were our toys first.
Greek Orthodox
No, they were OURS first.
Seventh-day Adventist
He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
Baptist
Once played, always played.
Catholicism
He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
Pentecostalism
He whose toys can talk, wins.
9.28.2009
8.28.2009
Riddles...Good Luck!
These are some great riddles! Try to figure them out, and then look at the answers below... no cheating!!
1. A lady read a book, turned the light out and went to sleep. In the morning, when she saw in the newspaper that a ship had sunk drowning all on board, she committed suicide. Why?
2. A young man entered a bar and asked for a glass of water. The person behind the bar produced a gun and pointed it at the man. He replied, "Thank you," and walked off. Why?
3. Imagine you are driving a Mercedes at 100 mph. The steering locks. The doors lock. The brakes fail. You can't get out! You're heading for a 1,000 foot cliff! What do you do?
4. 2 + 2 + 5 = 247. Add one small line to make the sum correct.
5. Luke had it before. Paul had it behind. Ladies have it at the beginning, but only once. Abraham Lincoln had it twice. Boys cannot have it at all. Doctor Lowell had it before and behind. He actually had it twice as bad behind as he had it in front. What is it?
6. A man on horseback went on a two day trip. He left on Tuesday and arrived home on Tuesday. How could this be?
Answers:
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1. She was a lighthouse keeper.
2. He had the hiccups.
3. You stop "imagining."
4. Put a line on the first "+," from the top left, making it into a "4."
5. It is the letter "L."
6. The name of the horse was "Tuesday."
1. A lady read a book, turned the light out and went to sleep. In the morning, when she saw in the newspaper that a ship had sunk drowning all on board, she committed suicide. Why?
2. A young man entered a bar and asked for a glass of water. The person behind the bar produced a gun and pointed it at the man. He replied, "Thank you," and walked off. Why?
3. Imagine you are driving a Mercedes at 100 mph. The steering locks. The doors lock. The brakes fail. You can't get out! You're heading for a 1,000 foot cliff! What do you do?
4. 2 + 2 + 5 = 247. Add one small line to make the sum correct.
5. Luke had it before. Paul had it behind. Ladies have it at the beginning, but only once. Abraham Lincoln had it twice. Boys cannot have it at all. Doctor Lowell had it before and behind. He actually had it twice as bad behind as he had it in front. What is it?
6. A man on horseback went on a two day trip. He left on Tuesday and arrived home on Tuesday. How could this be?
Answers:
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1. She was a lighthouse keeper.
2. He had the hiccups.
3. You stop "imagining."
4. Put a line on the first "+," from the top left, making it into a "4."
5. It is the letter "L."
6. The name of the horse was "Tuesday."
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