Sunset at the North Pole

Very, very difficult questions

(See answers at end)

1. You are participating in a race. You overtake the person in second place. What position are you in?

2. If you overtake the last person in the same race, then you are in what position?

3. Very tricky math (this must be done in your head, do not use pencil or paper or calculator)
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?

4. Mary's father has five daughter's: #1 Nana, #2 Nene, #3 Nini, #4 Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
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Answers:
1. If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

2. If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again! Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?

3. Did you get 5000? The correct answer is 4100. Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!

4. Nunu? No, of course not. Her name is Mary.

Funny, Silly, Stupid? You decide...

Idiot Sighting #5
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know--I already got that side."

Slogans
In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

Most useless inventions
1. Solar Powered Flash Light
2. A black highlighter pen
3. Glow in the dark sunglasses
4. Inflatable anchor
5. Battery powered battery charger
6. Hand powered chainsaw
7. Inflatable dartboard
8. A pedal powered wheelchair
9. Braille driver's manual
10. Double sided playing cards

Math Trick: Phone Number

Originally found on getamused.com

Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will stump you. Personally I would like to know who came up with this and why that person is not running the country.

1. Grab a calculator. (you won't be able to do this one in your head)

2. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area code)

3. Multiply by 80

4. Add 1

5. Multiply by 250

6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number

7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again

8. Subtract 250

9. Divide number by 2

Do you recognize the answer??

You May be Addicted to the Internet if...

~You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
~You wake up at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
~You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape 4.0 or higher."
~You put down your internet address when filling out your driver's license application.
~You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
~You laugh at people with 14.4K-baud modems.
~You start using smileys in your snail mail.
~The last girl you picked up was a JPEG.
~You have engaged to someone you've never actually met except through e-mail.
~You introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife" or husband as "myman@tv.hubby" and refer to your children as "client applications".
~You name your children Mosaic, Java and Eudora.
~You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap ... and your child in the overhead compartment.
~Only communication in your household is through email.
~You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.
~All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: cable modem...DSL...T1...T3...wireless.
~And even your night dreams are in HTML.
~You think Webster's Dictionary is a directory of Web sites.
~You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
~Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.
~You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
~All of your friends have an @ in their names.
~You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa but haven't spoken to your next-door neighbor yet this year.
~You refer to your age as 3.x.
~You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.
~You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
~You really did ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
~There is an I.V. stand next to your mini tower.
~Choice between paying AOL bill and paying for kids education is easy -- if a little painful for your kids.
~AT&T names you Customer of the Month for the third consecutive time.
~Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
~You have to install a second phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.
~You hide the bill from the spouse because you may have to sell the family car to pay it.
~Your wife drapes a wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
~Batteries in the TV remote now last for months.
~You hire a housekeeper for your home page.
~New mail alarm on your palmtop annoys other churchgoers.
~Your mouse-clicking forearm rivals Popeye's.
~Your household pets mimic the soundblaster card for attention.
~You unsuccessfully try to download a pizza from www.dominos.com.
~You try to order a movie from Blockbuster video by downloading it at 44,000 BPS.
~You get hundreds of comments posted for you at EBay.com.
~You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
~You can't call your mother ... she doesn't have a modem.
~You tell the taxi driver you live at http://1100.sunset.ave/mansion/brick.html
~You're upset because an obituary fails to mention the deceased's new email address.
~You try to pay the babysitter via electronic transfer or PayPal.
~You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
~When your car is crashing through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the Back button.
~Your desk collapses under the weight of your computer peripherals.
~You want to meet someone new and your first impulse is to turn on your computer.
~You double click your TV remote
~You forget that you don't have to use your keyboard when using your telephone.
~You try to enter your password on the microwave.
~You have more than 5 email addresses.
~You set up a webpage for each of your kids.
~Your dog has its own home page too.
~You use more than 20 passwords.
~Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
~If you can write a list like this.
~If you immediately think of ten people to whom you want to send this list.
~You come back and check this list every half-hour.

Humor: Toys and Belief

Atheism There is no toy maker.

Polytheism
There are many toy makers.

Evolutionism
The toys made themselves.

Capitalism
He who dies with the most toys, wins.

Communism
Everyone gets the same number of toys, and whoever is caught selling his toys will go straight to hell.

Buddhism
He who dies with no toys, wins.

Confucianism
Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.

Branch Davidians
He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.

Hinduism
He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.

Jehovah's Witnesses
He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.

Mormonism
Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.

Muslim
He who plays only with solider toys, wins.

Judaism
He who plays without following the rules, loses.

Anglican
They were our toys first.

Greek Orthodox
No, they were OURS first.

Seventh-day Adventist
He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.

Baptist
Once played, always played.

Catholicism
He who denies himself the most toys, wins.

Pentecostalism
He whose toys can talk, wins.

In God We Still Trust

Incredible Food Sculptures

Riddles...Good Luck!

These are some great riddles! Try to figure them out, and then look at the answers below... no cheating!!



1. A lady read a book, turned the light out and went to sleep. In the morning, when she saw in the newspaper that a ship had sunk drowning all on board, she committed suicide. Why?

2. A young man entered a bar and asked for a glass of water. The person behind the bar produced a gun and pointed it at the man. He replied, "Thank you," and walked off. Why?

3. Imagine you are driving a Mercedes at 100 mph. The steering locks. The doors lock. The brakes fail. You can't get out! You're heading for a 1,000 foot cliff! What do you do?

4. 2 + 2 + 5 = 247. Add one small line to make the sum correct.

5. Luke had it before. Paul had it behind. Ladies have it at the beginning, but only once. Abraham Lincoln had it twice. Boys cannot have it at all. Doctor Lowell had it before and behind. He actually had it twice as bad behind as he had it in front. What is it?

6. A man on horseback went on a two day trip. He left on Tuesday and arrived home on Tuesday. How could this be?

Answers:
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1. She was a lighthouse keeper.

2. He had the hiccups.

3. You stop "imagining."

4. Put a line on the first "+," from the top left, making it into a "4."

5. It is the letter "L."

6. The name of the horse was "Tuesday."

Child prodigy

Inspiring video about a child artist named Akiane.

Dog & Cat Diary

As seen in a dog's diary:

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.


The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I can wait; it is only a matter of time!

Heroes

Theodore Roosevelt on "Achievement"

"It is not the critic who counts. Not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or how the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again because there is not effort without error and shortcoming, but who actually strives to do the deed, who spends himself on a worthy cause, who knows the great enthusiasms--the great devotions, who knows, at the best, the triumph of high achievement. And who knows, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat." --Theodore Roosevelt

Origami Bank Has Folded

Japanese banks have been hit almost as hard as American banks: The Origami Bank has folded, and we hear the Sumo Bank has gone belly-up too. Bonsai Bank plans to cut some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is for sale and is going for a song. Meanwhile, staff at Karate Bank got the chop, and analysts report there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, where workers fear they may get a raw deal. --Submitted by Barbara Padwell in the "Laugh" column, Reader's Digest 3/09

Observing the Planet of Light

Amazing Photo of Water on Mars

Conquering Fear - Nelson Mandela

Words of Wisdom from Nelson Mandela - printed in Reader's Digest, 10/08

"Wounds that can't be seen are more painful than those that can be seen and cured by a doctor. I learned that to humiliate another person is to make him suffer an unnecessarily cruel fate.

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear but the triumph over it.

I felt fear myself more times than I can remember, but I hid it behind a mask of boldness. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid but he who conquers fear."

"I Have a Dream" by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. They have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.

As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied, as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their selfhood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating "For Whites Only". We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let

freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

10 Inches of Snow!